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Internet Marketing and the Sleazy SEO Guarantee

by | Sep 28, 2013 | General Topics, Internet Marketing, Search Engine Optimization


Can Any Internet Marketing Professional Guarantee a Number One Ranking in Google?

You’ve received the emails, right?  The ones that claim to guarantee you a top ranking in Google for a bargain-discount, super-special, today-only, limited-time price?

“For $99.95 a month we’ll give your our honest John SEO guarantee that you will rank #1 on Google.”

And if you’re honest you’ve asked yourself…”Maybe it’s true?”

Well, boys and girls, I’m here to tell you that sometimes it is true.

What?!  You exclaim (or mumble, or just think it in your befuddled, pre-coffee, morning haze).

I’ll bet you expected me to debunk that claim.  Sorry to throw you a curve ball, but it is possible to guarantee a number one spot in Google.

Let’s test it out right now.  I’m going to tell you that this blog post is about Internet marketing razzmatazz in Las Vegas.  Now, give it a try.  Go to another window and search on the phrase “internet marketing razzmatazz in las vegas.”  Unless you’re reading this 5 minutes after I publish (and maybe even then) I can “guarantee” that we will get a good ranking in Google for “internet marketing razzmatazz las vegas.”

Ok, now someone needs to pay me $99.95.  That was the guarantee, right?  I’ll get you top ranking on Google for only $99.95 per month?  Well, fork it over…

(Note: Here’s an update from 24 hours later.)

Where’s the rather obvious deficiency in my number one ranking strategy?

Who searches for Internet Marketing Razzmatazz Las Vegas?

Answer: No one.  (Ok, well, you just did, but other than you…)

This is something of a follow-up post to what I wrote (see SEO Experts: Look in the Bag Before You Buy) about, er, let’s say, overly optimistic Internet Marketing companies that brag about their ranking “success” stories.

The moral of this story is simple.  If any SEO/SEM marketing company offers you a ranking guarantee, ask them the hard question:

Do I Get to Pick the Search Keyword?

This question will cut through any bull, er, shot, guarantees.  If they say yes, come to us for 1 hour of almost complementary keyword research.  We’ll pick a keyword term that is relevant to your business and gets lots of search traffic.  After all, rankings for anything “razzmatazz” are pretty meaningless, aren’t they.

Now here’s the second part of this.  As you noticed above, I said the keyword research was “almost” complementary.  Here’s the catch.  After you give them the keyword term that we helped you pick, and after that company fails miserably to deliver on their guarantee (and oh yes, unless they’re charging you a lot more than $99.95 a month, they will), please promise to come back to us and we’ll explain what real Internet Marketing means and why we’re the best company in Las Vegas to help you with yours.

We won’t even say “we told you so.”  Not even once.  We guarantee it.

1 Comment

  1. Ross Barefoot

    Well, it’s less than 24 hours later. Guess who’s number 1 for “Internet Marketing Razzmatazz Las Vegas.” Yup. You guessed it.


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